Dec. 10, 2019 Updated 8:01 p.m. ET
BOSTON MASSACHUSETTS — Biogen announced today the completion of phase III clinical trials for its new Alzheimer’s therapy, Forgetitol. Company PR representatives revealed statistics from the successful clinical trial and outlined marketing plans for the new offering.
“Patient recruitment for an Alzheimer’s study is typically very difficult; however, we were able to build a very robust cohort of 565 participants by simply telling late-stage patients they had already signed up,” according to Director of Clinical Studies Rhonda Kevorkian (no relation). Asked for comment on the experience of the trial, one respondent reported: “Are you my grandson?”
Biogen’s innovative clinical trial design is tailored to the Alzheimer’s population, with Forgetitol being administered to patients twice a day at a 10mg dosage. Each morning, clinical trial staff would ask each patient if they had Alzheimer's. After a mere 30-day treatment, the vast majority of patients reported “little to no recollection” of having Alzheimer’s, achieving an industry leading 96% cure rate. More amazingly, among the 96% patients, over 80% can’t even remember what Alzheimer’s disease is.
FDA officials have identified potential problems with general distribution of Forgetitol. “As Forgetitol is so potent, we are worried that patients will forget to take the medication as intended, thus reducing observed efficacy,” said one FDA official.
In spite of concerns, Biogen is optimistic about the future prospects of Forgetitol: “I am so confident in the efficacy of Forgetitol that I’ve even been taking it myself as a preventative. By the way, did I tell you about our new drug, Forgetitol?” said Biogen’s CEO.
Biogen is building a broad Alzheimer’s portfolio by exploring additional therapeutic avenues such as pharmaceutical baseball bats, to be administered in three sharp bashes twice a day. Early evidence has shown efficacy matching that of Forgetitol for the 6% of patients that survive treatment, and plans to market sterile bats to healthcare providers as early as 2020.
